Unborn

I wake up with a spine chilling terror intimidating me. A spooky and horrendous feeling creeping through my mind. I try hard to get rid of the feeling and look around through my groggy eyes from the disconcerting nights sleep, when I suddenly realize that my hands and feet are bounded.

I panic.

"Where am I?" I squeal

"Where am I? Baby where are you?" I yell louder perplexed and horrified not to find my husband beside me. I try to break free of the hog tie, wriggle around to let it loose. I attempt at chewing off the rope by my teeth but in vain.

Looking around, fear grapples me as I find nothing beyond darkness.

My throat is dried up from yelping and bawling. It's already been an hour of unfruitful efforts and tired of trying, I give up.

I weep ignorant of what to do.

Oblivious to the surrounding, I doze off tearfully in a hope that someone will come looking after me.

I wake up abruptly by a stream of water pooled beneath me. I search panicked to find the source. Within minutes the water starts pouring in from above filling up the place. I try to free myself from the misery and start moving around only to realize that I am tied up in a small solid enclosure with a small vent which is the source of the water. Relieved, I laboriously attempt to stop the flow. After a few minutes I succeed in blocking the vent with my hands which are still bounded.

Holding on to block the vent, I try remembering the previous day's endeavour which ended me in such an appalling and ghastly circumstance. It seemed like any other normal day, late to office, spilled coffee on the white shirt, nasty frown from boss, heavy workload, disastrously late going back home, dirty laundry strewn on the floor, and the petty fight with my husband which went ugly ending with both of us sleeping on either side of the bed. I couldn't remember anything unusual except for one thing. Today was my appointment with the gynaecologist and I am sure I missed it. I could even recall the appointment being the reason for our fight.

It was just a week before that I realised I missed my period by a week which was most unusual. I peed on the dreary stick and all my worst fears came true. The 2 bright pink parallel lines on the stick shone back at me innocently. We both were not ready for the baby yet. It seemed too soon. I hated my job and was on the verge of leaving it and he was in a huge debt which was left over by his parents. I wished the stick was lying. Hoping it was a false positive result, I took out another one and frantically peed on it spilling urine all over my hands. Mindless of it, I held my breath to see a single line which seemed as a miracle to me deep inside and as always, my instincts proved right. I was pregnant.

I dwelled on the truth for a moment and realised it would do no good to hide it from my husband. Fearing an outburst, I went back to the bedroom to my sleeping husband. I ran my fingers over his hair and kissed him on the forehead when he woke up.

" baby, when will we have kids?"

" let's plan, what worse can happen? We can get through all of this." I pleaded in some hope.

" I love you, I want kids too, but just wait till things settle down. I promise you in 3 to 4 years we will be fine". He seemed so genuine and helpless that I dint have the heart to tell him that our plans didn't work out.

I absent mindedly went to work and as soon as I came home blurted out the matter to him which resulted in an interminable fight. He started blaming me when I opposed an abortion. I thought about it the whole day in office and even fixed an appointment with the doctor but I wished he would say something differently. The fight continued till yesterday night and we both slept away from each other. I made up my mind that I would visit the doctor and fix a date for an abortion. And today was the fixed appointment for my abortion which I dreaded but eventually fate lead me into this ghastly situation.

Staring into darkness, holding my hands onto the vent, which were hurting as hell, I wept again. I mourned. This was the punishment imposed on me by God.

Time passed by and water was pouring again. My hands were failing to block the vent. I gave up. Released my hands which were numb and watched the water fill in. Slowly the level raised and it is was becoming difficult for me to breathe. I was not ready to die. It was suffocating and fear haunted me again as I knew that my end was nearing. I swayed my arms and legs in a final attempt to break free of the misery. I cried inconsolably and yelled at the top of my voice. The water level raised blocking my airway and my whole body shivered and shuddered. I struggled interminably cringing to a final rescue.

" what happened? Dont cry"

I could faintly hear someone saying to me.

I wildly swirled in water.

" Stop it. Mia get up" cried a voice.

" I can't. Help me.." I gurgled.

I could feel someone's touch. The warmth of a human touch brought me to my senses.

I could feel little relief, water level seemed to lessen and I could finally breathe. I was ecstatic knowing someone found me and was about to rescue me.

" help me"

"Please help me" I yelled on top of my voice.

" Baby I'm right here, wake up please. U are scaring me" pleaded a voice which seemed like my Husband's.

" Yug is that you" I moaned with a huge relief.

I could feel light and looked around to see if I could escape from the enclosure. I could see light.

I crawled towards it. Light flooded my eyes and reflexively I closed them. A moment later I opened my eyes to find my husband beside me. I was lying on my bed soaked in sweat. Then it dawned to me that I was in a nightmare. Blood filled my body as adrenaline slowly disappeared and relief flooded onto me.

Yug was holding me tight, panic stricken.

' I am fine, I just had a bad dream, go to sleep' I consoled my husband.

It was still frightening for me but I felt stupid for displaying my fear. Now that I came to my senses, I feared again thinking about the dreaded appointment.

I pretended to sleep and finally dozed off. By the time I woke up, Yug was ready.

'Get dressed up soon, we don't want to be late for the appointment' He said indifferently.

Tears swelled into my eyes and my stomach growled. He sat on the couch cold as ice as I got dressed up with rage, fear and disgust.

No one spoke on the way to the hospital. After an hour of silence in the car and in the hospital lobby, the dreaded moment came. Scared as a squirrel, with pitiful eyes, I glanced at my husband one final time before entering the doctor's room. His eyes were blank, cold in my opinion but showing nothing.

What was he thinking. I wanted to know but instead rage flourished inside me and I sat stubbornly infront of the Doctor.

After few tests and an hour of waiting, the doctor confirmed the pregnancy. She encouraged both of us to continue with the pregnancy. As a final attempt, she asked me to lie down on her table and showed us the baby on ultrasound. I couldn't make any structure on the screen but the moment she made us hear the heartbeat, I panicked and it resulted in an outburst.

She left us alone to decide.

Yug went away without consoling me.

I was alone and this feeling was worse than what I assumed in my dream. I was neither gagged nor tied but it seemed like someone was throttling me.

After an interminable time, Yug came inside accompanying the Doctor.

I wiped my tears and without speaking to Yug, said to the Doctor, ' I am keeping the baby'.

The doctor smiled, congratulated me and left the room giving instructions to the nurse. I was confident that Yug would not support me in this decision, so I did not bother to look at him.

The nurse took me to another room to allow me to discuss my plans with the Doctor. Yug stayed back.

After a bunch of instructions and a pile of documents and medicines, I was leaving the room, when she called me back and said

" You are lucky to have such a wonderful husband".

I was perplexed. I nodded my head dutifully when she explained to me how Yug had cancelled the appointment for abortion and fixed up a checkup to ensure everything was fine with my pregnancy, early in the morning.

I was astonished and glad. With tearful eyes and a smile on my face, I left the room thankful of the doctor. I searched for Yug, when I found him in a corner standing with a bunch of roses.

" congratulations wifey, we are gonna be proud parents" he said fondling me.