I waited for a very long time and finally one day I realised the fluid was beginning to choke me,..some wire was strangulating me. I struggled with the wire around my neck and realised that my agony was evident even to the lady outside coz even she was yelling. I felt sorry for her.
So I tried harder trying to relieve myself and put an end to the lady's misery. I could hear her yelling and crying and I felt bad for her. So though I was choking myself I tried harder to break free of the wire around my neck and suddenly I could feel a hand on my head and a way out. I struggled pushing myself out.
Finally after an hour of struggle, me and the lady were put out of our misery.
I open my eyes and glare back to a man with weird thing on his eyes glaring back at me smiling. I tried to smile back but all the pain, agony and asphyxia made me burst out. I cried out loud letting out all of my emotions.
I looked around and observed that everyone in white coats was laughing, smiling and hugging each other but a lady who was on the bed had a disappointed look on her face as soon as someone announced, "it's a healthy beautiful baby girl weighing 2.8 kgs, congratulations."
I knew she was dissatisfied coz of me. I let her down being a girl. I felt bad and insecure and cried again and finally dozed off.
I was still sleeping when someone passed their hand on my head and kissed on my cheek. I woke up to see an old lady and smiled at her.
Everyone in the room rushed to see me smile and smiled back at me.
I yearned to see the lady who was still in the bed. She was sitting in her bed and watching me, but this time with a beautiful smile plastered on her face. I felt good. I wanted to speak to her and be with her. I donno why but I just developed a deep bond with her and I was craving to be with her. I stared at her with deep longing moist eyes and fell asleep eventually.
This time when I woke up, she was holding me and kissing me. I felt exhilarated. I tried to talk to her but all I could do was make some incomprehensible words.
She was looking proudly at me adoring me for every sound I was making but at the same time I could notice a dissatisfied look on her face.
"Mommy, can I hold pompom today, please" came a beautiful voice from behind and I turned to see a small kid who was jumping with joy waving both her arms exhilarated by the look of me.
"No darling, pom pom's still very small and you won't be able to manage her, but you can come and touch her" saying this the lady took the kid onto her bed.
The kid was joyous. She touched my hand, feet and kissed me and the moment I was fondled I dozed off to sleep again.
This drama of people coming from all the places, holding me and chitchatting with the family continued for almost an year.
In this whole time I came to know that the beautiful lady out of whom i magically came out is apparently my mother. My father was that grim faced man who rarely fondled me and the little girl was my sister. I have a huge family of grandparents, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews whose faces are quite difficult to remember.
I also noticed that not many people approved of my presence. Every now and then people commented on how wonderful it would have been if I were a boy. I just couldn't understand what difference it would have made if I was a boy. I had seen many people, boys and girls and the only differences I could make out was that girls had long hair and wore beautiful colorful gowns and sarees and were always smiling and talking while the boys were all boring and dull and mindless of the surroundings and wore almost the same dull shirts all the time. I wondered while sleeping or drinking milk or mostly all the time, what was so special about being a boy. I felt bad and lonely, unwanted. I could understand what everyone was speaking and it was terrible to be in a world where you were unwanted.
To be Continued....
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