It's a Girl's World- Part 5

I was happy for that punishment. I sat all day long trying to see sense into such traditions. Either they were born in a different generation or time travelled, but I was sure they don't belong here.

There were many more traditions which were apparently followed by people. Whenever I found time, I would sit with my mother or grandfather and listen to all the tales they had from their time.

My grandfather was loitering around the house one day as my grandmother was no longer there to keep him busy, and he stumbled upon an old photograph of my mother's. He came to me and gave it to me to feed my brain. I was having a hard time with so many questions in my head and no broadband to answer them. I wonder how people got their answers before internet was invented. Anyways my grandpa gave me the pic and asked me to identify it. It was a small girls pic probably 2 yrs old and I noticed a strange thing about it. The kid in the pic had a cross over her tummy. An engraved cross. It suddenly struck me and I ran into the kitchen and pulled aside the Saree from over my mother's tummy and there it was. A cross on her tummy.

I asked her about it and she told me very normally that she was a premature child and people were worried if she would survive or not. So they took a hot red iron rod directly from the flames and put it over her tummy as a sacrifice to the gods for the infant who in their minds had sinned and so deserved the punishment. Luckily for my mom she survived and so the people who did this certified my mom to have forgone her sins.

So this was another great tradition followed by us.

I thanked god that I wasn't prematurely born. If not I would have to live with an ugly permanent tattoo on my belly. Poor mom.

So, these were few of the so called traditions and customs followed by the so called heads of the community and no one had the guts or right to question it.

But me being the evil black sheep of not only our family but even our community, i would never stop questioning those beliefs and every time strengthening their hatred towards me.

My sister went on becoming the sweetheart of the family while I became the unavoidable stress and agony. 

                                                     To be Continued....

It's a Girl's World- Part4

By the time I was 10, I came to know almost everything. I assumed of course.

Till this time, I was interested in global events and never bothered about traditions and customs followed by each community coz I felt they were foolish and apparently they were never applicable to kids.

So one fine day when I was majorly affected by the tradition, was when I got my first period when i was 14(people said i was a late bloomer). Tada! I was always astonished at the human body and specifically by the female anatomy that I did a whole lot of research, (thanks to the internet which helped me be an adult even before I was 10). So I was literally waiting for the day I would start menstruating. I was well prepared for what to expect and how to deal with it but what I didn't expect was the tradition which comes along with it in our community.

Apparently ages before, our ancestors had a tradition of showing off to the world that their girl became fertile and was ready to be a mother. They were so naive, the only purpose in their life was to grow big, get married, have children, help them grow big, get them married, grow old and die eventually(ok not naive but i guess an intelligent thing to do at that time, so that the human race doesn't go extinct- Darwins theory of survival or extinction, i guess). So when they organised a huge party to show off their fertile girl to their whole community, their reason for celebration and joy was justified. They were intelligent to have found a way to sell their product and I totally appreciate they did justice to whatever the situations were.

But following that tradition after centuries, when people don't even have a right to get a girl married before she is 18, showcasing to the whole world that she bloomed or to put it appropriately menstruated, if not called foolishness what else would you call it. Embarrassing a girl who already is unaware as to what's happening to her body, is in my opinion not a tradition but a way to show to the world that you are a dumb ass.

I fought when this injustice, mind you, not tradition was being followed with my sister but in vain coz she was okay with following the tradition. But when it came to me, I had to put up a lot of drama to avoid the embarrassment. Eventually I became the evil child who brought disrespect to the whole family by not following their family's tradition, 'the black sheep of our family'.

An year later my grandmother who was reaching her 80's, a diabetic, hypertensive and a cervical cancer survivor died, the blame was put on me. Reason being I angered the lord of our community by not following the showcasing of my bloom to the whole world.

My dad who never fondled me when I was a kid and disapproved my mother pampering me, came to me and told me that he wished I was dead to have brought him such a wrath in the community.

It strangely never bothered me, but put me in a deep thought. How can a person, so well educated, living in a world where everything thing is accounted for and scientifically proven, be still a believer of such nonsense. I tried to put some sense into him but all I got from that was a week of no internet and no playing out of the house-house arrest for a week for killing my grandmother.

To be Continued.....

It's a Girls World- Part 3

I watched a lot of television, mostly news when my dad was around, coz then my mommy would be busy in the kitchen preparing all types of savoury to feed my dads ever growing tummy. I was seeing an episode in which  in many places the girl child was aborted. Knowing this the government put in a rule as to not let people determine the sex of the child till labour. But this rule was not successful as the girl child was either killed or sold off as soon as she was born. I got scared when my dad was keenly watching the whole episode with immense interest. I worried for the whole month if that would be my fate too. But later on with the ever increasing information, this particular news was suppressed in some part of my brain.

I got to know a lot about what the world was like. The people were crazy. They divided themselves, firstly based on locations into continents and then countries. As if that wasn't sufficient into numerous small states and their capitals. There were racial differences, cultural differences, language barriers and even in a race into several communities. And each person fought with the other, each community fought with the other, each race fought with the other, state to state, country to country. It was crazy, it was as though people needed something to keep them entertained their whole life. They used to fight to get what they wanted and finally when they got it, they would screw up again to end it and blow it up.

It was chaotic outside and as if this wasn't sufficient, there were these uncontrollable things like tsunamis, volcanoes, earthquakes, landslides, cyclones, floods, twisters and whole lot of crap to get into my tiny head.

So apart from all this craziness, if I was still thinking about what difference it would make if I was a boy, would that be rude?

I grew big with these thoughts waging a war inside my head, fighting to get an appropriate answer.

Along with me my sis too grew big, much bigger than me. How much ever I tried to be bigger than her, she always beat me up. I loved her in the beginning when she fondled me and used to crave sitting by my side. But now I hate her bossing me around.

I finally was put into a school which was supposedly a place where all the kids were thrown into to get an insight of the real world. Really? I was treated with chocolates, candies and lots of gifts to be first in my class. Yes classes, divided according to age group and again sub divided according to IQ, based on how well you were intelligent enough to understand the already screwed up world.

I grew up understanding more and more from the scholarly teachers of my school who all would teach us-"50 new, different and latest ways to screw up the world".

                                                        To be Continued....

It's a Girl's World- Part2

I waited for a very long time and finally one day I realised the fluid was beginning to choke me,..some wire was strangulating me. I struggled with the wire around my neck and realised that my agony was evident even to the lady outside coz even she was yelling. I felt sorry for her.

So I tried harder trying to relieve myself and put an end to the lady's misery. I could hear her yelling and crying and I felt bad for her. So though I was choking myself I tried harder to break free of the wire around my neck and suddenly I could feel a hand on my head and a way out. I struggled pushing myself out.

Finally after an hour of struggle, me and the lady were put out of our misery.

I open my eyes and glare back to a man with weird thing on his eyes glaring back at me smiling. I tried to smile back but all the pain, agony and asphyxia made me burst out. I cried out loud letting out all of my emotions.

I looked around and observed that everyone in white coats was laughing, smiling and hugging each other but a lady who was on the bed had a disappointed look on her face as soon as someone announced, "it's a healthy beautiful baby girl weighing 2.8 kgs, congratulations."

I knew she was dissatisfied coz of me. I let her down being a girl. I felt bad and insecure and cried again and finally dozed off.

I was still sleeping when someone passed their hand on my head and kissed on my cheek. I woke up to see an old lady and smiled at her.

Everyone in the room rushed to see me smile and smiled back at me.

I yearned to see the lady who was still in the bed. She was sitting in her bed and watching me, but this time with a beautiful smile plastered on her face. I felt good. I wanted to speak to her and be with her. I donno why but I just developed a deep bond with her and I was craving to be with her. I stared at her with deep longing moist eyes and fell asleep eventually.

This time when I woke up, she was holding me and kissing me. I felt exhilarated. I tried to talk to her but all I could do was make some incomprehensible words.

She was looking proudly at me adoring me for every sound I was making but at the same time I could notice a dissatisfied look on her face.

"Mommy, can I hold pompom today, please" came a beautiful voice from behind and I turned to see a small kid who was jumping with joy waving both her arms exhilarated by the look of me.

"No darling, pom pom's still very small and you won't be able to manage her, but you can come and touch her" saying this the lady took the kid onto her bed.

The kid was joyous. She touched my hand, feet and kissed me and the moment I was fondled I dozed off to sleep again.

This drama of people coming from all the places, holding me and chitchatting with the family continued for almost an year.

In this whole time I came to know that the beautiful lady out of whom i magically came out is apparently my mother. My father was that grim faced man who rarely fondled me and the little girl was my sister. I have a huge family of grandparents, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews whose faces are quite difficult to remember.

I also noticed that not many people approved of my presence. Every now and then people commented on how wonderful it would have been if I were a boy. I just couldn't understand what difference it would have made if I was a boy. I had seen many people, boys and girls and the only differences I could make out was that girls had long hair and wore beautiful colorful gowns and sarees and were always smiling and talking while the boys were all boring and dull and mindless of the surroundings and wore almost the same dull shirts all the time. I wondered while sleeping or drinking milk or mostly all the time, what was so special about being a boy. I felt bad and lonely, unwanted. I could understand what everyone was speaking and it was terrible to be in a world where you were unwanted.

To be Continued....